Stained Glass Window
An Unforgettable Night at Castle Marne
I can’t believe I’m here, a newly divorced, single mom, at the wedding of my barely ex-husband’s best friend since college. She (yes, she), a dreadfully gorgeous tall blonde, is getting married to the strapping young executive quickly making a name for himself in some fancy sounding beige flavored career path. Looking at their recently bleached smiles reminded me of the magazine I was leafing through at my dentist appointment this morning. The dentist appointment where I (yet again) had the pleasure of disclosing my divorce, spelling my newly reacquired maiden name for the hundredth time, changing my address on file, and (surprise!) learning that my new shitty insurance means my dental exams just got really expensive. Fuck this noise!
I can feel my face turning hot as a faint voice from current time and space pulls me back to the present offering, “Champagne?” and turn to see a tray-full.
“Yes!” I say, grabbing two. “I’ll take one for my date as well.” At least there’s one perk of now dating myself for the first time in 13 years. I glance over at my ex, chatting gleefully with some old friends, our 6-year-old (in the most adorable tux ever), hugging his leg tightly. After all, he is the “ring bury-er” as he calls it. I half wonder if he thinks his job is to bury the rings. Kids, so fucking cute. Ex had RSVPd for all of us the week before I moved out and the bride didn’t waste a second asking if our picture-perfect, sun-kissed, nose-freckled little boy could do the honor of ring delivery service. Somehow over the following few months of our newly separated lives, Ex had manipulated me into thinking that not reversing the RSVP and letting her down, while partially pretending we were NOT in the middle of a divorce, was somehow the best route.
“Let’s not overturn the apple cart. Our child would be devastated if he couldn’t be the ring bearer, or worse yet if one of us wasn’t there to see it. We don’t need to make this wedding about our divorce. My old college friends would rather just hang out and party instead of listening to some sob story.” And any other such nonsense that I now recognize as his continued need for everything looking perfect from the outside. It was exhausting and a big part of our dysfunctional relationship.
But here I was, yet again, walking right into the narration of being the picture-perfect wife in a happy family, dawning a clenched smile, but for what?! So the bride’s grandma could make a comment when we walk in as a family unit, that my Ex, “Sure is lucky to have such a beautiful, loving wife to come home to.” In response to which my 6-year-old looks up at me with all the confusion in the world as to what to do. Not wanting to turn over the apple cart on this apparently beloved granny, I squeeze my child’s hand and fake a smile as I promptly walk away with him to a far corner, left to explain this newly nuanced concept of withholding the truth but not lying. I fucking hate all of this with a passion.
I finish glass of champagne number one in a large gulp, and reach for number two where I’d stashed it in a nearby windowsill. Can’t look like I’m double fisting! “That would be shameful.” His voice echoes in my head from one of many, many, times that phrase was used to manipulate or control me.
I roll my eyes and exhale old bookmarked thoughts out of my flaring nostrils. But as I look up I notice the ornate trim on this window and immediately recognize its trademark qualities from architecture school. This is classic pre 1900. I love this era! The time, the vibe, the creativity, the attention to detail never again seen after WWI. Something most newly built places trying to fake looking old could never pull off. My eyes trace the trim north to a semi circle of stained glass framing the window header. Its gorgeously intricate details were stunning. The tiny fragments of colored glass were puzzled together in such a way that each showed the wavy imperfections of their century’s old residence in that exact spot.
Of course! I think as I’m brought back to the grotesque memory about the fact that the bride had found herself the picture perfect venue to serve as the background for her picture perfect wedding.
“A castle!” I kept hearing on repeat. “A real castle. Downtown! And it’s not even a wedding venue, it’s just a bed and breakfast so the prices aren’t outrageous. We can rent out the whole place and basically do whatever we want.” Her dreams of being a Princess getting married in a castle had come true. Fucking barf.
“Bernie!” Speak of the devil. “Bernie, you look absolutely stunning!” I cringe as I hear Ex loudly compliment the bride, Bernadette. This woman has made it known that she goes by Bernadette and only Bernadette to everyone INCLUDING HER husband, but somehow my Ex has had the unique privilege of being the sole owner of the only nickname she has ever tolerated by ANYONE. “We go way back.” was always the justification I heard. Even now my gut sinks with the realization that I’ve settled into over the last year: that this “best friend since college” has almost surely been his affair partner on and off since long before we met. But the worst part is, I never actually caught them, it was always just a trail of breadcrumbs at first, then whole slices of bread, then giant fucking loaves pointing to the obvious but never actually getting to the reveal of what I’d eventually concluded to be true.
They’ve been so close for so long, the boundaries of friendship had been blurred since the beginning. The slow frog boil had begun as I walked down the aisle myself. She was inserted into my bridle party, only because having a female as a groomsman would make for awkward photos. She seemed particularly grumpy that day, and had a lot of side conversations with my new husband that felt fairly serious, but I was pretty buzzed on life and champagne, and I didn’t register this until later. Then the ongoing list of shitty or questionable interactions from there became a real burden to keep track of. Everything from being far too close when I walked in a room where they were alone and completely jumped to my unannounced presence, to the fact that she insisted on making my child’s 3rd birthday cake and came in with some over the top fondant Elmo-shaped monstrosity that had clearly taken her days to make. And of course Husband fawned over her talents and efforts and showcased this to everyone, like she was some prized baking champion gracing us with her presence. But worst of all it was their eye contact. This bothered me the most. The long gazes that you could feel from across the room, the subtle nods or gestures that might go unnoticed by anyone not watching them like a hawk, the awareness they had of each other’s presence and uncanny ability to escape crowds or busy social scenes simultaneously. Then I came to learn that Husband’s absurdly early morning workout schedule somehow aligned exactly with hers, not that they went to the gym together, but rather that no gym was involved at all! One afternoon when Husband ran back into her home to ‘grab something real quick’ I saw her pull him away from the large front bay window (which seemed a bit odd given the thing he needed was by the door) only to wait a full minute before he emerged again. Walking down the sidewalk back toward the car he not once, but twice wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. And the guilty, overly tense, bewildered look on his face when he got into the car was impossible to misread. I just looked at him and he basically jumped, “What!?” but was unable to even look me in the eye. That was the day I could no longer continue to ignore all the small signs. It all added up but there was nothing I could do about it. I had no real proof, just a gut sense that this friendship was not a friendship in the least. They’d been in love since day one.
I look down at my glass that was somehow already half-empty. Oh wow. Tomorrow’s gonna be rough. But it couldn’t be more painful than how I’m feeling right this very second so FUCK IT! With another long sip I look back up at the arching stained glass, and take one step back to get a better perspective. I hear chaotic clanking of dishes as I feel the impact of my shoulder hit flesh. Assuming the worst, I turn quickly thinking I’m about to see a floor full of hors d'oeuvres.
“I shit, I’m so sorry!” I glance at the server holding a bus tub on her way back to the kitchen.
“No worries ma’am! All good!!” She said as she brushed past me gracefully. The noise of our collision had only barely disrupted the small side bar room I was in as the music overpowered anything from entering the next main room over. Thank God! The last thing I want is to bring attention to myself. Maybe I should take a time out and use the restroom. Yea, I could definitely use a minute alone. I glance around to see that my child is good, now snuggled into Ex’s leg while nearly being smothered by a giant bridal gown but he’s smiling nonetheless. I’m out!
I meander into the next room which happened to be the main corridor of the house where less people were milling about. There were multiple fireplaces but one in particular caught my eye. A marble face, gave way to the most intricate wooden floral frame, leading to outer decorative touches, and finally the focal point, almost standing in column on the right. There was an incredibly detailed wooden serpent-like dolphin holding a pedestal on it’s upturned tail. The details again were stunning. Each scale to perfection, the eyes almost alive, it’s teeth threw me off a bit but gave it the allure of something mythical. It was sitting atop a mantle that was itself a work of art. The leading edge was adorned with what could almost be described as rounded piano keys. About two inches in length and maybe one inch wide they created a row of wooden tiles, but each was so deeply carved out it it looked as if they were separate add ons but clearly they were all part of the same piece of wood. My eye was drawn farther down over the cascading edge of incredible detail. Just below the serpent carving was a face. Making up the lower part of this column the man shaped decor seemed to have pegan origin with a beard of leaves that swirled down into a stunning rose shape. The leaf beard was carved with a nearly hairlike texture and the partially open rose had pedals so delicate I was afraid to touch them. His face even had faint wrinkles and his eyes held a mesmerizing gaze. I was absolutely stunned by this piece. I could probably sit here for an hour before I felt like I’d given it the respect and attention it deserved. Taking a few steps back, this time glancing over my shoulder first, I took in the entire fire place and could almost feel the history of this castle.
Finally remembering that a bathroom was on the agenda I wound through a series of small rooms glancing at the intricate details of carpentry, stone work, and ornate glass, simply get lost in the soul of this gorgeous place. One particular windowsill had the pleasure of residing in a tightly curved corner, clearly the round tower part of the castle. It was a narrow and deeply inset leaded glass window which was stunning in and of itself, but the thing that caught my eye was the windowsill and frame. It matched the tight curvature of the wall. The gorgeous thick, dark, hardwood horizontal aspects of this window frame nearly bent an eighth of a circle. From the dusty archives of architecture school, the word octant popped into consciousness. I laughed at the useless knowledge gathering dust in my brain, while taking in a wider view. It was then that I noticed the entire chair rail along the wall followed this perfect curvature as well. Holy shit! Talk about a carpenter’s worst nightmare. This was incredible, and given how long ago this place was built, this must have taken an unbelievable skillset. I was floored. If I could just spend the entire evening wandering through this castle and drinking in all the details of it, I would be so happy.
As I got farther from the noise I could feel my nervous system begin to reset and my thoughts finally anchor to what my eyes were seeing instead of the mental storm it had been spiraling in previously. Woooosaaaah. I came upon a staircase that had the most beautiful column at it’s base. The deep inlayed panel accents gave way to floral carvings that were then topped with a fascinating orb of sorts. This ribbed ellipsoid looked like an intricately tapered stack of eighth inch thick wooden disks. It gave me the vibe that felt almost like ancient Egypt. Sturdy and incredibly regal, it was almost calling out to be touched. Standing on the second step I lay my hand on top and wound my fingers aroung each groove as I descended to it’s narrow base. The curvature was so perfect, the grooves so deep, but so smooth and almost waxy from a centuries worth of hands probably doing exactly what I was doing in this moment. It was almost comforting in a way, knowing that this place had a life longer than my turmoil, longer than my existence, even longer than my grandparents existence. I took a deep breath and let my fingers soak it in. Closing my eyes I could almost get a sense of who else had been standing here over the decades. The deep conversations, the heated arguments, the joy, the laughter, and holy hell even some errotic energy pulsed through my fingers as images popped into view of a young passionate couple making love right here on this very step. I must’ve lost myself for a few seconds in this vision as an opening door behind me startled me to the point of an audible gasp.
“Whoa, sorry! Didn’t mean to sneak up on you.” I open my eyes to a gorgeous man with dark hair, bright green eyes, and very strong stature, wearing a suit but holding a tool box with some carpentry supplies. The puzzled look on my face must’ve been fairly obvious. “Uh, yea. Just doing some work around here.” I quietly look down at his polished shoes and back up to his piercing eyes. I still haven’t spoken yet. “Well, at least I was. Had to take a break from peopling. It’s not my favorite perk of owning this place.” I could feel my face shift at the indication that he owned this castle, and that he was working on it, while wearing a suit. My amusement bubbled out through my nose with an exhaled laugh. “I’m Theo. You don’t say much do you?”
“Oh geez. Sorry. I really just wasn’t prepared for what I’m looking at right now. I’m Isabel.” Ok maybe not my best introduction to a new human. Probably the champagne talking, but I was clearly attracted to all of this in such a confused but oddly perfect way. C’mon woman! Get your shit together.
“Well, I’m not sure if I should say, ‘Sorry to disappoint’ or ‘You’re welcome.’” The confident smile that swept across his face was purely authentic and wholesome without sounding cocky in the least, which I was immediately drawn to.
“Ha! I guess it was more of the latter in combination with I’m pretty sure I’ve never seen someone in a suit at a wedding, doing maintenance.” I reflexively looked back down at his toolbox as he placed it on the floor. He then took a fancy looking soiled handkerchief out of his pocket to wipe off his hand before extending it out to formalize this greeting. This cloth had been meant as a decorative addition to his front suit pocket but clearly later reassigned to a more functional role at the time of need. Why do I fucking love that so much?! I reached out and shook the hand of carpenter; strong, calloused, and skilled, as they were, it seemed he was intentionally trying not to crush my much smaller hand in its grasp. Mmmmmm. I could live in the warmth of that hand. HOLY HELL woman, get a grip!
“Nice to meet you Isabel.” My cheeks must’ve flashed red at the sound of my name on his lips.
“You too.” I nearly choked out trying to hide my immediate and intense attraction.
“So are you lost? I don’t usually get wedding guests this deep in the castle. You actually wandered pretty far off the beaten path.” He says with a quirky smile.
“Did I? I’m so sorry. I was just admiring the architecture and was completely enamored by the top of this column when you caught me, well basically fondling it.” Wow… real subtle, there. Was I seriously shaming myself for flirting with this gorgeous person? I glanced down and noticed a ringless finger and decided that my inner critic could shut the hell up for a change. I was divorced and single and what the hell did I have to lose, especially on a night like this! I could feel my inner goddess bubble up from dormancy and begin to emerge from her shell.
“Ha! Fondling. Yea, that’s definitely a good way to put it. I have to admit, I’ve wondered myself so many times what it would say if this wood could talk. Just so much history right here in how smooth and soft it’s become with more than a century's worth of hands gracing its presence.” He didn’t break his gaze from mine as he spoke and I found it to be oddly comforting and almost mesmerizing.
“That’s exactly what I was just thinking! How many people, how many lives, how many slivers of history live right here, in this wood.” We were silent. The way he held me with his eyes mirrored how his hand had already felt; strong, intense, skilled, and yet intentionally soft and yielding. It was almost too much. I had to break the tension before I learned what spontaneous combustion felt like. “So you own this castle?” Catching my shift in demeanor he followed suit fluidly.
“Yea. Bought it a few years ago. I was completely taken by the history and architecture myself when it went on the market. We live in the carriage house outback and I have help running the bed and breakfast, but I like keeping a hand in the maintenance side of things. It’s not my full time gig but I really enjoy taking care of this place. When we have weddings or bigger events, I like to attend and get the vibe of how everyone’s doing or help if I need to iron out any kinks. Tonight seemed to be going flawlessly so far, and I maxed out on my capacity to be around that many people so I ducked out and went to work on a few things. Partly to regain my own sanity and partly so I could stop obsessing about the crux of this project I finally figured out.”
My heart was still in a sunken state from hearing the phrase We live outback. “Well that’s fun. So your family lives here onsite?” I’m trying to stay engaged and shift into, super neat to meet you mode, so I’m not shamefully flirting with a spoken-for man.
“Well by we I mean me and my two kids, when they’re not with their mom. Otherwise it’s just me in my bachelor pad.” Oh, OH! Fuck yeah! Did I just internally jump for joy, don’t be so obvious! “Yea, you know, standard fifty-fifty. It’s been a few years and I feel like we’re finally getting into the swing of our new reality.” Shyly, he looks down and brushes his fingers through his think hair. Looking back up he continues, “But you don’t need to hear about my sob story. We’re at a wedding, not a divorce! Ha.” He laughed with a tone of embarrassment. “Sorry, sometimes I overshare without realizing it.”
“Oh my God, no worries! I was the one who asked. I’m actually just newly divorced myself and have a 6 year old who’s here, or at least out there with the Ex. This is his ‘best friend’s’ wedding,” a phrase adorned with airquotes, “although I’m pretty sure they’ve been in love and cheating this whole time, so maybe I should be saying this is his lover's wedding, but that just sounds twisted… well I guess the whole thing is fucked up and twisted no matter how you look at it. So who the fuck knows.” I trail off as I begin to feel my face heat up half with embarrassment and half infuriated all over again. “Oh wow, well now I’m oversharing so… I guess we’re even.” I end abruptly with a self-conscious stifled laugh.
“Oh shit. That’s well… that’s BIG. Is he bisexual then?” Apparently my oversharing didn’t scare him off in the least.
“ell, ironically I think so, but not because of this scenario. His best friend since college is a tall blond bombshell of a woman who can’t keep her eyes off of him. SO here we are.” I outstretch my arms in presentation of myself, as far away from the wedding as I could possibly get.
“Well that makes sense then. I know we just met but I’m pretty sure you already demonstrated that you’re open to sharing and verbally processing might be a thing for you. Do you want to talk about it? I don’t have anything else I need to tend to this evening other than guests' needs. And this particular guest’s need seems pretty significant.”
I was floored by the offer of this gorgeous stranger to just sit and listen to my problems. That was such a nice gesture, one I would have never heard in my marriage, in fact. I thought for a second and then immediately dismissed the idea. “No actually. As much as I’d love to wallow in my own sorrow and drag you down with me, I think I have a much better idea if you’re up for being a distraction instead.” I raise half an eye-brow and my inner vixen takes a step toward him, with a smile forming in the corner of her mouth.
“Oh yeah? What’s that??” He’s clearly intrigued and seems to lean in unconsciously eager himself.
“Can you give me a tour of your castle?” I smoothly lay it out there as if my hidden agenda wasn’t obviously on the table at this point. Perhaps I was too casual because I could almost feel him deflate a little with my proposal. Although he recouped quickly enough not to make it too obvious.
“Of course. I’d love to!” He smiled. “Let me get us some accompanying drinks for our tour. You were having champagne was it?” Gesturing at my glass.
“Oh I was, but it’s not my go-to. I’m more of an Old Fashioned kind of girl but didn’t want to seem un-lady like.”
“Are you kidding me?! I good rye Old Fashioned is my go-to. And by the way, honoring your own desires is the most lady-like thing there is.” He said this with an heir of sensuality that made me no longer question if he’d misread my intentions of our tour. “Well then… I know where our tour is going to begin!”
As we descend, I can feel the change in temperature and humidity. This cellar was stone walled and had a hard packed dirt floor that was clearly as old as the building itself. I have no idea how, but the room was beautifully rustic, chilled, and perfectly maintained in its era of century-old refrigeration technology. Walking past the entryway from the staircase into the cavernous cellar nearly took my breath away. As it opened there was a main space housing a long, very old, rustic decanting table, flanked on each side by three additional narrow corridors. From my quick field count, each one held about 800 bottles, and by my fuzzy numerical logic I was walking into the home of almost 5,000 bottles of various kinds of distilled and fermented substances, no doubt ranging from old to insanely old. The walls were made of what looked to be some kind of granite with rustic wood rafters, the ceiling’s barrel shaped round edges held a personality only fitting to a building of this age. The diamond shaped cubbies holding spirit-filed bottles atop each other had clearly lived a life marred with scars from past battles. These were not made to look old, these were just old. OLD old, and I was soaking up every ounce of it as I unknowingly traced my finger along the decanting table while walking directly to the end of the main room where his personal favorites took residence.
Under lock and key, this leaded glass case was not often disturbed by staff for guest use. As he opened it, I marveled at the site of unbelievable breadth and depth I was witnessing. Not that I was a wine or liquor connoisseur at all, but I know a good collection when I see one, and this was by far the most impressive cellar I had ever experienced.
“Let me know if you see anything you like.” He said casually over his shoulder as if I was walking through a shoe store looking to try something on. I couldn’t help but laugh out loud. “No! I mean it! This stuff is all just collecting dust and 99% of it came with the castle, so if there's anything you want me to open, just say the word. I really don’t know a thing about it so I let other people fuss over what’s expensive or rare or whatever. Honestly I just care if it tastes good or not. So I always have my own personal stash here for safe keeping.” He reaches for a bottle of San Luis Valley Rye from a recognizably local distillery, indicating his taste is much like mine to this regard, sourced nearby and whatever feels good at the time.
“Bartender’s choice.” I say with my jaw half agape drinking in the view, which now also included his strong shoulders as I watch him reach for the bottle aloft. Next he opened an ice chest from within the counter below revealing that he must be here often enough to have fresh oranges on hand. I chuckle at beauty in this moment. Here I am, in the basement of a castle, getting a personal tour from the owner, who is in a cellar likely holding century old bottles of God knows what, while we joyfully anticipate drinking a glass of rye from a $70 bottle bought down the street probably within the last month. I could not be happier.
As he began to pour, I thought about turning my back to take in more details of the cavernous cellar but had the red flag warning in the back of my mind that told me to behave otherwise. Being a woman has its perks but ALSO its vulnerabilities. Don’t even get me started! Rang through my head as I adjusted my angle and proximity to make sure he knew I was watching closely. Not that I didn’t trust him, but also WHY should I even think about trusting him at this point! Oh to be a woman.
“Is this granite?” I asked brushing my hands along the cool stone taking a few steps closer to get a clear view over his shoulder.
“Rhyolite actually. It's a volcanic rock mined just south out of Castle Rock” He said without thinking twice.
“Ha! So your castle is made out of rock from Castle Rock?!” I’m beyond amused.
“Oh my god! YES! I’ve never put that together before. That’s hilarious!!” He stops and turns to look at me in total admiration for revealing the obvious irony.
“Wow. So poetic.” My inner comedienne is proud but that was a pretty slow pitch. Either way, he liked it. Score!
“I was always more enamoured with the energetic properties of it.” He stopped short for a second. “If you believe in that stuff. Which I tend to, because why the hell not, right?”
“RIGHT! I love the possibility that there might be so much more going on behind the scenes than we could ever imagine. So what are the energetic properties?” I love where this conversation is going.
“Well, they say it promotes inner strength, fosters acceptance and joy, and helps in letting go of negative emotions through self-acceptance.” He’s not quite done with liquid masterpiece in front of him, but he pauses and turns to me thoughtfully. “But my favorite part is that it releases built up emotional blockages that stem from past traumas or future fears… and supports completely living in the present moment.” I realized that I’d continued moving toward him as he was talking, and finally came to a slow stop close enough that I could see the intricate detail of his incredible eyes. With a softer tone full of tension and desire he went on, “That’s what I feel the most here.” Our gaze intertwined, I’m drawn in to the siren song of his entire being. His lips look so delicious I crave to taste them, to run my fingers through his hair, to experience the strength of his incredible arms. Then I pause. What the fuck am I doing? This is insane! I just met this man and here I am, in a secluded basement accepting drinks from a total stranger! I’m suddenly in my head about all of it and immediately shift the energy away from what I know my body wants most.
“How fun!” I say taking a step back nervously. “That’s some amazing energy to be surrounded by. I can definitely get a sense of how that permeates here too. Strong stuff!” Fuck me. Did I really just blow that in epic fashion? I fake a smile and place my palm on the rhyolite stone to ground back into my body, then close my eyes and take a deep breath.
He abruptly turns back to the drinks and then again to face me, but this time with the orange and a channel knife, “Would you mind doing the honors?” He says, no doubt, trying to ignore the fact that I clearly just rejected an obvious advance. “I’m not sure I wouldn’t tarnish the drinks with hands that still smell like chemicals from my project.”
“Oh, I… I’d love to!” Welcoming something to keep my hands busy, I immediately revert back to my bartending days, mindlessly garnishing both drinks with the pull of an orange peel twist. A swirl of the cocktail spoon around each perfectly sized tumbler cube of ice et viola. I smile to myself and the dormant skillset that never gets old. Handing him his glass I see that he’s still eyeing me in depth at this point. Maybe I didn’t completely ruin this afterall.
“A seasoned veteran I see.” He says, nodding in approval.
“Yea, it’s not my first tour.” My always underlying sense of humor bubbles to the surface without hesitation. She’s very pleased with her timing and double (if not triple) entendre with this one.
“HA!” He lets out a gut laugh so genuine and full it echoes through the cavernous cellar. “WELL played.” he exclaims, marveling to himself almost shaking his head at my comedic prowess. It’s not something I usually feel comfortable expressing so soon after meeting someone. Oftentimes the comedienne of the group gets cornered there and doesn’t get to also play sexy vixen, or intellectual equal. But I’ve always had an uncanny ability with one-liners that surprise and delight even the most skilled jokesters. My deadpan delivery and unexpected timing that would catch anyone off-guard can actually sometimes be intimidating. So I’m intrigued by my unconscious diagnoses that this was something I could safely express in the moment so soon. But I guess, I have nothing to lose at this point, so why the hell not, right?
We both look at each other and smile as we cheers to whatever the fuck this is in the moment. I’m lost in his eyes for a full second before I see a plaque over his shoulder which catches my eye. He notices my gaze and turns to find the source of my distraction:
In Honor of John T. Mason (1858–1932)
A native of Lincolnshire, England, John T. Mason made this mansion his home from 1894 to 1920. An amateur lepidopterist, Mason kept his remarkable butterfly and moth collection in this very cellar. Those specimens later formed the cornerstone of the Denver Museum of Nature & Science, where he served as the first curator and helped shape the museum’s earliest vision alongside its founders..
“Wait, what?! I know that name!” I’m reeling as to where I’d run into that identity recently when it finally hits me: A friend of mine who just came to visit from the east coast is obsessed with moths. She’s always been a bug nerd but this time she was geeking out about this very specific “Firemoth” from the Denver area that was first collected by some guy named John Mason. The ONLY reason this stands out in my mind is because one of my dorm neighbors in college was a guy named John Mason who once accidentally sat on a hill of fire ants and got his ass lit up! So naturally when someone tells me about John Mason and fire moths from Denver I got a clear visual that stuck. As I recount this story to Theo in great narrative detail with all the comedic embellishments, he laughs to the point of near tears. I relish in this easy audience and I also notice a fairly distant glaze in his eye I hadn’t yet seen. He lingers there between sentences as if lost in some far off thoughts. The smile he returns with when I unintentionally snap him out of it is genuine interest and almost admiration. This doesn’t feel like a routine ploy or a game with an agenda, or even something that’s a means to an end. It actually feels like he’s interested in what I have to say and hangs on the end of my words before he even postulates a response. As foreign as this might feel for me, it’s actually quite grounding, freeing almost. Like I don’t have to try or muffle, or sensor, or filter anything. And the more I speak without abandon the more he seems to enjoy my presence. Holy fuck! What is even happening right now? Here I was about to give my inner vixen a test run after 13 years in hibernation and now I’m wondering if she even needs to be the center of attention, let alone part of the act because so far me, and my very aligned, no holds barred self are doing just fine with out plucking the harp strings of anyone’s siren song. I’m almost beside myself about what to do with the vastness of this freedom.
Theo continues to share about his life and I chime in about stories from mine. This isn’t even flirting, this is two humans relating to one another. We are two strangers in a wine cellar enjoying each other’s company far more easily than either one of us would have expected, given that we’d just met within the hour. A pause, sustained gaze, eye contact that lasts a lifetime, laughter so easy it feels like champagne bubbles, but sexual tension so palpably electric it could spark at any moment. I’ve never felt so comfortable around a total stranger before, this is utterly insane..
Theo’s phone vibrates in his pocket and he glances down to see the message. “Well, this is gonna have to end the wine cellar part of our tour, I’m afraid. Maintenance duty calls upstairs.” He closes up his private cabinet and we meander back up to a warmer climate. I almost forgot how much cooler it had been down there, maybe the heat that was building in my base kept my body warm from the inside out. “It sounds like they’re going to start shifting guests to the ceremony in about five minutes. If you want to finish the tour afterwards, just meet me right here?” He said this with an heir of a question at the end. I laughed hard.
“Like there’s anything else I’d rather be doing tonight.” He looked at me with a quick eyebrow raise that insinuated the exact thought I had in the back of my mind as well, and I immediately began to feel heat begin to pulsate between my hips. I smiled to myself as he watched me walk away to find my adorable little ring bury-er..
Of course the ceremony was perfect, my child was perfect, the vows were perfect, the tears were perfect, everything about it was fucking perfect! But the thing that really punched me in the gut was when she first began to walk down the aisle, the eye contact between her and my Ex might as well have painted a scarlet letter in the air between them. It was almost a look of grief that this day had finally come, but it wasn’t even just grief it also felt like total regret. After the ceremony when the newly wed couple paraded ceremoniously away from the altar, she was all smiles and happy tears until she looked at my Ex again! The flash of pain and sorrow was impossible to miss. It was quick to sweep across her face before disappearing, but in that instant her expression could not hide the obvious heart break. And that’s when it finally hit me. The whole puzzle came together in that moment, all of the things I’d once questioned and wondered about added up in beautifully fucked up fashion with the most twisted, ironic, and almost poetic tragedy I could imagine for them. A sense of peace and pure tranquility washed over me as a genuine smile emerged from deep within.
Long after I’d come to this realization that suddenly changed everything, I couldn’t help but to laugh to myself. “Ha!” It felt like I could finally put this in a place where I was no longer the victim. I was the fucking reigning champion at life right now!
“What’s so funny?” Theo walked up to our meeting spot as I was nearly doubled over in stitches.
“They can’t ever be together!” I say barely able to get the words out through the laughter and tears.
“What? I don’t follow. Let’s find a better corner and you can explain. Walk with me.” I glance over at my son relishing in all the attention while embroiled in the post ceremony wedding photo cue. Confident he wouldn’t even notice I was gone I turned away and felt Theo naturally reach his arm to my back. He escort me a few steps before he abruptly dropped his hand back down to his side, as if he might have just caught himself from overstepping boundaries. In response to which I felt disappointed and respected, simultaneously. So fascinating.
As we retraced our steps through the rooms back to the staircase where this all began, he asked me to clarify, “Alright, I’m all ears. I’d love to understand more about what’s going on in your brain.”
Halft flattered at the way he said that, I dove right in. “So I think I just figured all this out and it’s so perfectly fucked up! It’s amazing!!” I’m beaming like I’ve just uncovered some long lost treasure.
“And also very confusing already… So go on!” He says eagerly awaiting my epiphany.
“OK. Bernie and Ex have been in love since day one. Ex and I get married, they continue to cheat but don’t have freedom to truly be together. Our marriage starts to fall apart. At this point Bernie has been with Mr Beige long enough to have gotten married by now but they haven’t. He even proposed to her but she said not yet. WHY? Because Bernie and Ex were waiting for our divorce so she could break up with Mr Beige and they could finally be together! That almost looked like it would happen BUT then I got pregnant. So we went through another wave of being solidly married. During this time Mr Beige got big promotions and was eventually able to afford a ring Bernie couldn’t say no to, it too perfect! Then within 6 months of their engagement, we split. But at that point the wedding invitations had already been sent out, and Bernie had already planned her dream wedding… the princess getting married in a fucking castle dawning a ring that needs it’s own zipcode! It was all going to be perfect, and the world already knew about it, no way could she follow her heart and back out at this point? Her perfect little life would be tarnished forever if she called off the wedding. Plus, she had already started getting all the outside validation in the world which is the only thing she feeds off of, because she’s that shallow! So how fucking amazing is it that she’d been holding out for so long in hopes that my marriage would fall apart so they could be together ONLY to have missed that opportunity by a few short months! And now they’re stuck right where they belong, in the infinite limbo of marital infidelity. But I’m free of all the bullshit and now Ex is on the outside looking in while Bernie locked herself up in the most perfect looking prison of her OWN design! It couldn’t be more IMPERFECT! And it’s all because they couldn’t just follow their hearts, make big choices, speak their truth, and stop caring so much about what other people think! It’s their collective achilles heal and it’s torturing them both! Hahahahah! I might be spiteful here but I don’t give a fuck! That’s poetic justice at its finest.”
“Holy shit! Is this actually for real?!” He’s genuinely enthralled.
“If you had seen the look of shared devastation in their eye contact as she walked down the aisle you would have been floored. She even had a momentary lapse in the procession after the ceremony!! It’s the same look she had throughout the entirety of my wedding. It all adds up!! Karma is such a beautiful thing. Fuck them! This day just took a turn for the best. It’s not my problem anymore and now I have a beautiful son and all the freedom in the world to go do whatever the fuck I want!” I’m in such a joyful state of liberation at this point, I could feel my chest opening almost as if I could breathe freely for the very first time.
“Well, speaking of poetic justice and doing whatever the fuck you want… Can I show you my favorite part of the castle?” He said this with the added twinkle in his eye of an acting accomplice. It was almost intoxicating.
“Absolutely!” This time he reached for the small of my back without hesitation and gently guided me up the gorgeous staircase.
Two floors up we came to a wide landing that ended in huge oak double doors. There were wedding decorations draped over the ornately detailed brass door knobs and a sign spanning them both that read, “Good night newlyweds!” It was clearly the honeymoon suite.
“Are you serious?” I ask, nearly dropping my jaw.
“Dead serious.” He said as he dismissed the decorations to open the doors. Upon entering my breath was nearly taken away by a huge circular stained glass window. The setting sun shown through, giving the distinct colors of magic hour illumination making this room feel like a fairy tale. In all of my architecture and period studies I’d never seen anything like this in person, so large and so completely stunning. It was wider than my arms could reach and made up of blues, reds, and greens so vivid it was like looking through a painting. Almost abstract in design but with elements of flora that didn’t overpower the feathery light feeling that somehow this glasswork emitted. A ring of tiny pink circles held smaller red centers that created almost a halo around the heart of this window. More layers of intricately shaped glass tiles were puzzled together so beautifully. My eye was finally drawn to the flower-shaped focal point in the middle, that encapsulated a silvery-blue piece cut like a diamond to refract light in countless directions. It was like nothing I had ever seen. A visual maze of details that one had to process fully and completely in order to truly appreciate its inherent value.
“Holy hell. It’s beautiful!” I said walking up to get a closer look.
“Yea. It’s the cock of the castle.” He says barely able to keep a straight face.
“I’m sorry, what?!” I blurt out in utter shock.
“Peacock! It’s a peacock. Get your mind out of the gutter.” He laughs at himself and the execution of his own set up and punch line. “It is beautiful though, isn’t it? It’s the only circular stained glass window left in Denver. The mystique of it was what drew me to this place and I could never look back.”
I knelt on the window seat just below and brushed my fingers over the tiny morsels of glass, soaking in their beauty and the skillset needed to create something so incredible. “Wow. I’m sure you’ve sat here for hours just taking it all in. Tell me about this.” I say pointing to the flower in the middle. Without hesitation he reached out and with soft fingertips caressed the diamond cut gem.
“This? The heart stone of the whole piece. It’s Alexadrite, by my far favorite gemstone. It actually changes color depending on your perspective and even responds differently to natural and artificial light. Here, watch this.” He reached to the side of the bench where there was a small cubby in the wall I hadn’t noticed. Opening it revealed a tiny library nook filled with books both old and new as well as an interesting flashlight of sorts.
“Well that’s fun!” I smile in amusement.
“Yea, this castle has lots of hidden secrets. Check this out!” He holds up the flashlight sideways to the heart stone and clicks it on. I’m astonished as the gray blue gem immediately turns a bright purple.
“What?!” I’m awestruck. He then flips the flashlight to a new setting and the gem was suddenly green. “How in the…”
“LED versus incandescent light. Both change the color in comparison to natural light. Isn’t that incredible?” He switched the light off again to reveal its natural light refraction.
“Yes! I’ve never seen anything like it!” I’m completely mesmerized as he repeats the process, clearly enjoying my reaction at the same time. “How is this even real? Not just Alexandrite but the whole piece? I mean, the time, energy, the sheer age and the fact that it’s held up for over 125 years!” I suddenly I felt his gaze falling squarely on me as he completely ignored the masterpiece in front of us. “It’s just…” I trailed off as he slowly began to lean in.
“...Beautiful?” He said at a near whisper so close I could almost feel his breath on my neck. My entire spine electrified with sensuality in just that one word. I turned to see his alluring expression and mine immediately shifted to match.
“Yea…” was all I could whisper back as my mind slipped into a completely different place letting primal feelings take over. I’m lost in his eyes. Their bright green reflecting the other various colors from the window. I could clearly see adoration in his gaze, but there was also a flash of hunger. Pure desire that clearly had its sights on me, and I wanted nothing other than to be their target. There was no way I was going to fuck this up again. In a pause that felt like a lifetime we were locked into each other’s eyes. I could feel my heart beating out of my chest as a flood of heat and craving washed over me. I couldn’t take it anymore, I needed to feel his lips on mine.
“Can I kiss you?” My inner vixen asked in the most sultry tone I’d ever used.
“I thought you’d never ask.” Our mouths met in the most sensual dance of lips and tongues. At first sweetly getting to know each other than with waves of passion that almost carried me to a far off place. His mouth was so inviting and welcomed me to explore, while giving me a sense that this was very likely only the beginning. As if reading my mind, he migrated to my neck and began slowly trailing kisses down toward my collar bone. I couldn’t help but let out an audible moan as he found the spot that sent my entire body into sexual overdrive. “Uuuuuuh.”
“Mmmm. I really liked that noise. Was that here?” He honed in again but this time with more passion.
“Yes! Uuuh.” My whispered response escalated into a higher pitched moan that clearly piqued his interest.
“Ooooooo. Yea, we’re gonna have to figure out how I can make you do a lot more of that. Do you mind if I explore a bit?” He asked tracing his finger below my thin dress strap.
“Please! It feels so good.” I let my head fall back as he kisses across to my shoulder with all the intention of someone looking for treasure. A few moans later, he works his way back up toward my ear and gently draws his mouth around its outer edge, sending my world into a spiral. “Hmmmmm” A deep moan exhaling from my nostrils paints a picture that my body has shifted into a new gear of pleasure.
“Oooooo. So right there?” He does it again, but this time with a bit more force ending in his mouth fully encapsulating the top of my ear.
“Oh fuck! Yea… yes, right there.” I could barely get the words out between gasps and could tell that he really enjoyed hearing my bliss. After catching my breath I just had to ask, “So do you always bring wedding guests up here?”
“Ha!” His reaction was almost surprising. “No. Never actually. Not once. Usually I’m so busy working or trying to hide in a project, or struggling through small talk until I can’t people anymore, that I would never even have dreamt of doing this. You just seem different. Being around you felt very comfortable. It’s definitely not normal for me to feel this comfortable around someone so quickly. Never mind the fact that I’m insanely attracted to you.” The words were like an unveiling of his personality that took me by surprise given the last few hours.
“Oh yeah? I’m having a hard time picturing you being shy.” I withdraw a bit to take in his face as he reached out to cup my cheek in his palm.
“Well, you must have me under some kind of spell because I feel like I can’t stop myself from wanting to kiss you… everywhere.” Feeling that last word land squarely between my legs, I take his mouth in mine and kiss him so deeply that my intention of wanting to take this further was made very clear in that moment. Our breathing became more heated, our hunger for each other became free to express. Then I felt his hand migrate south toward the bottom edge of my skirt, brushing up toward my inner thigh.
“May I?” He asked before exploring any further.
“Yes. Yes please!” He laid me back on the padded window seat and shifted to kneel on the floor. Slowly and gently he kissed the inner side of my knee, then continued with slow sensual kisses moving up my inner thigh, retracting my dress as he went. When he got to my panties he paused and then with the lightest touch of his tongue traced along the lower edge of them up toward my interior hip bone. He then repeated that process on the other side as I exhaled audibly at the feeling of his warm breath and wet tongue leaving behind a trail of cool evaporation on my skin. He reached both hands up to the top edge of my underwear.
“Do you mind?” He asked pinching and beginning to pull them down
“Not at all. It’s exactly what I want.” I was half in disbelief at my current state. My inner sex goddess was lighting up with joy at the freedom of fully leaning into my own pleasure. I actually get to do this! Declaring and voicing my own desires and receiving the attention I deserve felt so aligned and completely liberating. “Uuuuuhhhh!” My own voice cut through my train of thought like a knife as I felt his warm mouth completely envelope exactly where I wanted it most. “Ohhhh God. Yes! Right there.” I said without hesitation.
“I figured you might enjoy that.” Only looking up for long enough to speak, he immediately went back to the task at hand. His tongue explored all over using various patterns, pressures, pacing and leaving no edge of my base untouched. Pausing and repeating over and over again what got the most pleasurable responses from me. He slowed a bit and teased the very tip of my clitorous with a soft tongue sending me into a new stratosphere.
“I’d like to make you cum. Can I put my fingers inside of you?” He asked tracing his thumb along the edge of my very wet entryway. He then began to circle the hard tip of my peak causing my legs shutter in response.
“Yes. Yes! Please. I want it all!” And at that I felt the surge of his strong fingers press hard against my inside walls, expanding and pushing with the most sensual pressure sending my pleasure through the roof. “Uuuuhuhhh!” my voice echoed through the air as my eyes fell back in a swirl of colors gifted by the stained glass window above me. His mouth joined in as his tongue passionately circled and teased everywhere but my epicenter. Fingers pressing harder and faster, pulsating exactly where he knew I’d feel the most pleasure, I could sense myself building, getting closer to the edge. “Uuuh! Oh. Fuck yes. Uuuuuuh!” My voice climbing higher as my hips began to reach with a mind of their own craving to feel his mouth where I wanted it, where I needed it. “Oh god!” I could barely take it anymore. My whole body craved for release. And as if on cue, he finally enclosed his mouth on my heightened desire and with the force of suction and flicks of his tongue like I have never experienced before, I knew I was about to enter utter freefall.
“Oh god. Yes. Oh fuck. Ooooooooh. I’m so close!” The base of my spine lit on fire as my toes curled in anticipation, the tension building so intensely that there was only a paper thin space left between me and experiencing overwhelming pleasure. He picked up pace and pressure, and with a few hard thrusts of his fingers in combination with the intense suction from his mouth, my desire filled release finally came. “Oh! Oh God! Oooooh! Oooooh!! Aaaaaahh…” Pulsations so strong they consumed me, waves of pleasure so intense everything else ceased to exist. My body like a vessel of ecstasy completely filled to the point of spilling over, I was utterly lost in it all.
Breathing heavy I still felt the lagging pulsations press against his fingers as he left them in place coaxing a few more waves of pleasure from me. His other hand just barely grazing my inner thigh sent me into the beyond. Then my body, as if sensing I couldn’t take anymore suddenly recoiled in submission. “Aaahh! Oh my God. Too much, too much.” I laughed and giggled at the sudden shift and he retracted just enough to take in the view of my lower half.
“Mmmmmm.” He sighed in contentment as the edge of his mouth upturned into a smirk. “Well that was fun!”
“Ha! You’re telling me! Holy shit.” I said as my head collapsed completely into the pillows behind me. “That was amazing. YOU were amazing. I feel incredible and spent and completely left in a puddle of ecstasy.” I was almost confused and dumbfounded by just how astonishingly well he was able to bring me pleasure all while enjoying the process immensely himself.
“Good! I figured we needed to get the first one out of the way so you’d have more stamina for what’s next.” He abruptly stood up.
“What?! What’s next? There’s more?!” He reaches out for my hand as I dizzily stand, nearly bracing myself against his hard chest.
“Oh yea! Did you think I was going to let you leave here with just one orgasm? You’re far too sexy, and smart, and amazing to be left having only had the appetizer. Well, that is of course if you’d like more. There’s a five course meal of pure pleasure ready to be served… just say the word.” My jaw hit the floor as he turned over his shoulder glancing at the newlywed bed covered in rose pedals. His hand gestured openly showing me exactly where he intended to make me cum next
“You wouldn’t. We can’t. It’s their wedding night!” I’m in disbelief even at the thought of crashing the honeymoon suite and potentially having sex in the bed intended for the bride and groom.
“Which is exactly why we SHOULD! I can’t think of a more poetic way to capture the spirit of this day than for you to have incredibly insane orgasms on the newly weds bed even before they get the chance. You get the sweet revenge of this secret for the rest of your life. Not that you need it, and not that you're spiteful, but you deserve this after everything she’s put you through.” He was right. Holy fuck, he was absolutely right!
“I DO deserve this. Fuck her! Fuck my Ex. I get to do what I want for a change and what I want right now is you, completely naked, on top of me, in that bed!” I move toward him with hunger filled aggression intending to do exactly as I desire, in this moment, and every moment to follow. We kiss and forcefully undress each other with the passion of two people who can’t get enough. As his pants hit the floor hard with the weight of his phone, he pauses.
“Hold tight for one second.” I’m breathing hard and have been overtaken by a new wave of errotic energy as I watch him hold his phone up to his mouth and voice text, “It looks like that leak in the honeymoon suite bathroom is back. I can fix it real quick, but I’m gonna need you to make sure no one comes up here for the next hour.” With my back to the edge of the bed I watch in awe as he hits send. I can’t help but admire this gorgeous, strong, sexy, smart, sweet, sensual being who has every intention of making this a night I will never forget.
He tosses his phone on the pile of clothes we’ve created out of his suit and takes a few steps toward me. Quickly at first but then slowing pace the last few inches as he drinks in what he’s seeing. Like a child eyeing a Christmas present, my dress still fully in place, suddenly takes on the heir of wrapping paper. We had torn into his wrapping eager and greedy, but it seemed like there would be a different approach now that it was my turn. He takes his hands to both sides of my face, gently guiding my lips to his with the sweet seduction of someone who’s no longer in a hurry. A slow kiss, a tantalizing tongue, a nibbled lip all add to the slow dance that has consumed the entirety of my awareness. With one hand he slides my strap off my shoulder and lets it fall lazily to the side. While kissing my exposed collar bone and finding just the right spots again, he takes his other hand and gently peels my second strap in the same fashion. Moving to kiss that side next he reaches around to the back of my dress with both hands and casually unzips it, caressing my back as he descends, revealing that I’m not wearing a bra.
“Oh yea?!” He says in surprise “I’m almost glad I didn’t know you weren’t wearing anything underneath this. It was hard enough already to hide how attracted my body was to you since the moment we met.” He says this as his bare hand and light touch kiss the curve of my lower back.
“Yea?” I barely mutter arching my head back reflexively. “Uuuuuh.” Noticing my reaction to his touch he teases there again and explores my back looking for those spots that send me into a new dimension. I’m almost bracing myself with both hands on his jaw as I reach my mouth to his, feeding the desire that’s building through my entire body just with his touch. He lets my dress fall to the floor and immediately migrates his lips carefully from my mouth to the nape of my neck, cupping my breasts with his warm hands, he then takes my nipple firmly in his hot wet mouth. “Uhhhh!” I moan at the growing sense of primal desire he just sent coursing through me. More kissing, more sucking, more teasing and both of my breasts have become so sensitive and peaked with pleasure that they are delighted to have finally been invited to the party. I reach for his face wanting to kiss him more but instead he clasps both of my wrists and stretching my arms upward, he gently places my crossed palms atop my head.
“They stay here for now. Let me do my job.” I’m almost in disbelief at how intent he is on making this all about me and my pleasure. I gleefully obey and watch as he kisses and licks around the underside of my chest, then trails his way down to the top of my already naked base. Gently caressing my lower back while he kisses lower and lower, he sweeps his hands gently along my cheeks, to my upper thighs.
My skin is completely electric at this point. Goose bumps begin to form as I feel him reach his tongue right back to where it had brought me the most pleasure just a few minutes ago. “Uuuuhhhh!” I rising moan escapes my throat and he retracts his head just slightly to straighten his legs while he reaches his palms down to the backside of my knees. Then with one strong thrust of his arms my knees went skyward and suddenly I’m completely airborne. “Wha?!?” I lose my breath as a crash onto the bed flat on my back, sending rose pedals bouncing in all directions. “Ha!” I’m half laughing when I see the heat in his eyes as he firmly grips behind me knees pulling me fast and hard to the bed’s edge. Suddenly I sense this is no laughing matter. His dominance and strength have just overpowered me in a way that immediately caused a new level of buzzing energy deep inside my body. “Oh fuck that was hot.”
“You like getting thrown around a little?” He said with a glimmer in his eye.
“Oh yea. That just made me so wet!” I say clearly sensing how much his overpowering strength and dominance turned me on even more.
“Perfect, that’s exactly what I wanted to hear. Now tell me, how do you want to cum next?” He says in earnest awaiting my instruction.
“Ha! Are you serious? Is there like a menu of options I get to choose from?” I half-heartedly laugh because it almost feels like too much and I’m butting up against the thought of “what did I do to deserve this?”.
“Well here at Castle Marne we aim to please.” He said with a slight wink. “I’d be thrilled to go down on you again. You taste amazing by the way. If you’d like something a bit more involved we could get creative with locations around the room, position to optimize pleasure, you name it! I’m down. Or if you want me inside of you, I would be honored to oblige.” The way he said that landed so genuinely. Like he truly would be honored if I wanted to have sex with him but that wasn’t actually an assumed activity on his end. He really meant it when he said he just wants to please me however I desire. This feels insane and amazing and I’m so confused in an overwhelmed state of errotic bliss. This feels like newly divorced single-mom heaven!
I ponder my options for a second. “So it all depends, I guess. Do you have a condom?” Safety first!
“In fact I do! There are complimentary toiletries in each room and we stock the honeymoon suite with extra condoms. If you're sure that’s what you want of course.”
“Yes, it is, it’s exactly what I want. I would love to feel your body on top of mine. To kiss you and wrap my legs around you as we both lose ourselves in it all.” His face lit up with the prospect of being deep inside of me.
“That sounds amazing! Give me one second.” He quickly sauntered off to the bathroom and returned with the necessary accouterment. “Now where were we?” With my hips at the edge of the bed, he lowered himself to the floor while taking my ankles and placing them on his shoulders. Returning again for a second course, with a feather light touch he reached up my torso to my breasts and began teasing my nipples while mirroring the same pattern with his tongue.
I was immediately aroused to a new level and the craving I had inside reached new heights. I needed him inside of me. “Oh god!” I moaned as he sucked harder while lightly pinching and releasing my nipples. My back arched and my hips pushed against his mouth in a way that he could tell I wanted more. Then he immediately reached one hand down to my wet core and teased his fingers in shallow enough to let me feel just the beginning of what I wanted most. “Uuuuuuuh!” my voice almost whining for more. Then without warning he thrust deep and full sending my mind right to the spot where his fingers pressed hard against the deepest part of my interior pleasure. “Oh fuck! Yes! Oh God!” Twice, three times, harder and faster, four then five, “Yes!” then nothing. He went back to lightly caressing my outer edge (now more wet than ever), while faintly brushing his tongue against my heightened desire. “Uuuuuh! I want you. I need you inside of me. Please!” It was all I wanted, all I could imagine, it was a primal craving like I have never had before.
“Hmmmmm. Anything for you.” My eyes were nearly rolling back in my head as I heard foil packaging, then looking up at his face I saw a look of pure desire wash over him. It was so fucking sexy! Then as if I weighed nothing, he gripped under my shoulders and shoved me a foot back farther on the bed while climbing on top of me.
“God you are so strong! And hot!” I reach around his shoulders and bring my hands to rest on his neck and jaw line feeling the tip of his penis aligning just right. Then with the sweetest look in his eyes, as if reading to make sure I was alright, he pressed into my just slightly, and paused, then just a little bit more.
“You ok?” He asked, while I was nearly bursting with desire at this point.
“Yes! You feel so good. I want all of you!” and at that he thrust the entirety of his length so deep into me it took my breath away. “Uuuuuuh!” A moan released from somewhere in my core. He was so big! The sensual pressure pushed in all directions, stretching me internally in ways that were so delicious I couldn’t hold back. “Uuuh! Uuuuuuh!” My rising tone was clearly something he enjoyed.
“Yea? That good?” He said with a smile and a touch of pride.
“Yes! You feel so fucking amazing!!” He shifted his angle just slightly and I immediately knew I wasn’t going to last much longer. WIth his torso slightly elevated he was able to push even deeper and slightly upward hitting my most internal sweet spot.
“Oh fuck! Oh God! Right there. Yes! That’s gonna make me cum so fast!” I was torn as to what to do. I could shift away and hold off or…
“Perfect. Let me help!” The decision was made for me as he placed a flat palm on my lower belly where the tip of his penis began pressing harder, and with the increased pressure from his hand pushing back I was immediately lost in ecstasy.
“Oh god! Yes. YES!” My spiral toward the edge accelerated so quickly I didn’t even have time to anticipate it. My toes curled, as the first intense pulse began, then a burst of waving electricity, my entire body was completely overcome with a cascade of intense pleasure so strong and so direct, that I immediately felt like I was in a completely different world. “Ooooh! OoooooH!! OooooooH!” My voice shifting from anticipation to pure satisfaction, relishing in the vortex of unbridled pleasure. The waves of muscle contractions clearly being felt on his end as well as he slowed and moved with them.
“Nice work.” He said as if I’d had any part of it.
“Ha! I feel like that was all you.” I look up at him as I open my blurry eyes and drink in the contentment on his face.
“Well, I may have played a small role. Are you up for another, or do you need a bit of a break?” I register that yet again he’s asking what my needs are and that he truly is doing all of this to make sure I’m fulfilled and my needs are met exactly as I want them to be. Holy shit, this is amazing!!
“Hmmmmmm. Wow. Let me think, uh yea, I think I can handle another round of utter bliss. But maybe this time we make sure you get to cum too.”
“Deal.” He shifts one of my knees down to lying flat on the bed while his hips rotate slightly with mine. A more relaxing position that allows for a different angle and pressure where it hasn’t been yet. It feels so good and much less intense. “This ok?” He asks with a tender caring tone.
“Yea it’s great! It’s like a slower gear but still amazing.” I smile at how attentive he’s being.
“Exactly.” He says as he sweetly kisses me and continues to gently press deeper and remain there without retracting much at all. Our hips naturally rock together as I can feel him rhythmically deep inside. Our pace intentional, our mouths responding in kind. It’s the slight pause of connected recuperation that feels so kind and thoughtful, and this coming from someone I barely knew. I’m being treated like I deserve and I’m enjoying every second of it.
Slowly we pick up intensity as he begins to kiss my neck and nibble on my ear. At one point after teasing his tongue around my earlobe he whispers, “You’re beautiful. I feel so lucky to be enjoying this with you.” I almost lost it, but without hesitation he honed in on a spot at the nape of my neck that he knew would send my pleasure palette through the roof.
I was immediately out of my head and back to simply experiencing physical sensations. “Me too.” Was all I could manage before grasping his face and kissing him firmly. Our tongues danced and as I pulled away he softly bit my lower lip, shifting gears yet again and escalating things further. I repositioned my legs and pressed both feet down firmly arching myself firmly against him, feeling him even deeper. He shifted his weight to his knees and grasped my hips, holding them off the bed. At this new perpendicular feeling I was sent right back to where I’d been before, so close to cuming and quickly at that. “Oh! Fuck. This is such a good angle for me!” I few seconds more and I would be spent. I let myself enjoy the intensity of this for just long enough that my moans begin to sing out louder and higher, clearly getting him to a place where he’s starting to lose himself to the pleasure as well. “Can I get on top?”
“Of course!” Without hesitation, he leaned down supporting the small of my back in the crook of his arm and forcefully rolled over, taking me with him. In the blink of an eye I was perched on top of him hands now braced against his incredibly firm chest. The weight of my body welcoing him even deeper inside.
“Holy shit, that was amazing. Uuuuuh! Yes!” I’m moaning again already feeling like the inevitable is getting closer. Knowing he’s not quite there with me yet, I shift my hips farther down and rotate them slightly back to ease up on my sweet spot and give him better pressure from the inside.
“Oooooh!” I hear his pleasure in my ear and it sounds amazing. A few more thrusts at this angle and picking up pace I see the added look on his face of primal hunger and getting closer himself. “Oh baby. Yes. That’s amazing. Oh my god. Yes!!” He starts to look upward as if he’s almost unable to take it anymore. Then I abruptly slow down and retract almost all the way. His eyes dart open, looking at me almost in question, then I swiftly envelope him again fully and completely. “Oh fuck!” We almost both say in unison. Then slow again, followed by forceful pleasure and at that point we simultaneously lose ourselves to the edge and let the energy of whatever feels good completely take over.
He grabs my hips and holds me tight against him, thrusting deeper as he pushes and pulls me on top of him at the angle that immediately sends me back into a spiral. Upright and braced on his chest my fingernails begin to turn downward as the internal pressure repeatedly hits the right exact spot escalating my ecstasy even further. “Oh fuck!” I move to his firm grasp as it guides the movement in my hips while adding an even harder full body thrust and at this point neither one of us is holding back.
“Oh god! Yes! Uuuuuh” His rising moan takes me with it.
“Oh fuck. Uuuh, Uuuuuh, uuuuuuuh!” I’m panting at this point and moaning with every deep felt penetration right where I want it the most. “Oh god, I’m getting close!”
“Yea! Go there. Get yours. Harder!” He’s clearly with me as he pushes and pulls my hips, riding him and losing myself to his strength, I’m completely overcome by pure sensation.
“Uuuuuh, ouuuh, Oh fuck! Yes! Yes!! Oooooooooh!” My moans are louder than they’ve ever been.
“Ooooooh yea! Oh baby!! Fuck, oh fuck me!!” His moans match mine as our breathing turns into the gorgeous sound of two people lost together in pleasure anticipating collective release.
“Oh god! I’m… oh fuck!... Yes!! Aaah, aaaaah, aaaaaah!” And with the deepest, most intense, delicious pulsation, my entire body ignites with electricity. “Aaaaaah! I’m cuming!! Oh God, ooooooh!”
Clenching muscles around his hardness immediately trigger his freefall into bliss “Aaaaaah! Yes, fuck, I god YES!!” I hear his voice shift as his internal pulsations begin to match min. “Aaaaaah! Oooooh. Oh! Oh!!”
Eyes closed my mind only exists at the place where we intersect. Where my pleasure becomes his and his becomes mine. My entire body is buzzing with waves of ecstasy so intense that I’m momentarily taken to a completely different place. “Aaaaaah, aaaaah, OH GOD!” Swirls of color and sparks of energy continue to reverberate behind my tightly closed eyes. I can still feel his strong waves within mine as they continue to slowly fade together.
“Hooooo. Oh. Fuck!” He says out of breath as we collectively regain consciousness.
“Huh, uh, uh” I’m still panting and catching up to fill my own lung completely. “Huuuuuuuuuh” I exhale and collapse completely on his chest. His hands immediately clasp over my back drawing me in tightly.
“Holy shit! That was amazing!!” He says in his own exasperation.
“Yea! Oh my god. You’re incredible!” Truly meaning it from the deepest part of my being.
“Ha! YOU’RE incredible. Thanks for letting me in on the fun! I hadn’t expected to get my own orgasm out of this!” He said in a tone that made me realize he was dead serious.
“Are you kidding me? After spending the entire evening together, making me feel so cared for and validated, and then physically pleasing me to completion twice?! You seriously didn’t feel like there would at least be some kind of reciprocation??” I realize the disbelief in my voice as it’s being expressed.
“Well no! Why would there be? No one’s keeping score! And this wasn’t about me at all! I wanted you to feel good, and it’s a bonus that I got to as well. I want you to know that you deserve pleasure because you do! Just for existing. You’re an amazing woman! I feel incredibly honored tonight to be able to bring you the pleasure you deserve. Truly!”
Hearing this stopped me cold with the realization that I’d been so conditioned that my pleasure was simply there as a score card. Something to be used as credit for returning physical favors so to speak. It was never about me, it was always about what came next as a result. I almost felt immediately guilty about having more orgasms than him, but clearly this was not the intention! “Holy shit! Well, that just blew my mind on more levels than I think I can explain at the moment.” I’m still reeling from just how emotionally fucked up my marriage had been without even realizing this aspect of it until just now. I knew healing wasn’t linear, and I knew certain things would take time, but never in a million years did I think that having amazing sex with a total stranger, IN the honeymoon suite of the woman who’d been cheating with my husband no less, could possibly end up being so ironically therapeutic.
“Well, if you’d be so inclined perhaps you can help me fully understand over dinner sometime.” He actually seemed almost nervous about asking me out on a date..
“Uh, yea! I’d actually love that.” I smiled and we kissed with the new energy of potential. Mid-kiss I begin to laugh… “Ha! And to think, we got to enjoy this bed and this room first, on their wedding day.”
“Haha! Yea. That’s got such a poetic ring to it.” We kiss a bit more and lay there in post sexual bliss until there was no ounce of pleasure left to be had in this shared moment. I carefully removed myself and rolled over, perfectly exhausted. I pause there and look over at him as I catch his eyes having already been soaking me up.
“You really are beautiful.” He says with total admiration.
“Awe. Thanks! You’re pretty hot yourself.” We kiss one more time before I exit to the bathroom.
From there I hear him rustle to his feet and voice text again, “Bathroom is fixed but it looks like someone decided to take advantage of their honeymoon suit before they were married. Can you send someone up to freshen up the room for the newlyweds? Thanks!” I laugh to myself as I hear this. Fuck, he’s good.
As we dress I notice that Theo hesitates a bit when putting the flashlight back in the cubby. Pulling out a book he opens it revealing that the page interior was cut out to hold a handful of small items.
“What’s that?” I ask peering over and coming closer.
“Just a few items from the castle that have a lot of meaning for me. Some came as relics when I bought it, but I’ve added a few things here and there. I’ve always stashed them in this cubby without knowing why, but now I’m really glad I did because there’s something I want you to have.” He holds up a simple bracelet made of beads with swirling earth-toned colors. “Someone made this for me out of one of the castle stones when we needed to do some work on the cellar. It’s rhyolite.” It was gorgeous and so sweet for him to even think about a gift like this. “Here,” He reaches out to put it on my wrist. “...to help you live in the moment.”
“Oh my God! Thank you. That really means a lot.” I smile in near disbelief at the thoughtful gesture. “And clearly it’s already working!”
“Yea, for you and me both.” He says as we laugh and I kiss him with all the gratitude for what this amazing evening has given me. “Maybe we should duck out of here before someone realizes it wasn’t the honeymooners who messed up their own bed!”
“Ha! Yea. Probably best not get caught at this point.” I smile and he kisses me one more time before opening the heavy oak doors.
As we get to the bottom of the stair case my hand naturally brushes the orb at the top of the column and I amuse myself with the knowledge that I have now added my own story to this amazing piece of carpentry. Once we get to the landing he pulls me close with his hand at the small of my back, then kisses me slowly and sweetly.
“You head out there first. I’ll hang back and put away my tools so we’re not too obvious.” His eyes seem eager to say something more but he leaves it at that.
“Yea, sounds good. Thanks for an amazing evening. This is definitely one I will never forget.” I smile knowing the truth of this statement as it resonates to my core.
“I’m honored that I got to be a part of it. And… I hope for many more to come.” He says with half a wink as I turn and walk toward the loud dance music that feels so far removed from where I was only moments ago. The bright lights, the crowd, along with the immediate overstimulation almost felt like a shock to my system. I smirk to myself as I replay the last hour of my life and try to hide that I have a sexy secret.
I see my child dancing with the bride and am struck by the fact that I only feel pity at this point. I’m no longer the victim here! As the song wraps up, my kiddo sees me and immediately sprints over, jumping in my arms while I raise him to hug and kiss his freckled nose.
“Mama! Did you see me dancing?!” He says with innocence only a 6 year old can embody so purely.
“I sure did, Buddy. You’re such a good dancer. How lucky that you got to dance with the bride! Maybe it’s time to let her husband have a turn, huh?” I realize I’m in this surreal place of peace and poetic irony, as he nods in agreement and gives me a hug so tight around my neck I feel it in my soul.
“Champagne?” I hear a familiar voice come from behind me. I turn to see Theo approach while holding back his own sexy secret smirk as we lock eyes and share a hidden moment.
“Yes please. I’d love one.” I reach for a glass and feel my child’s fingers running though my hair.
“Mama, what’s this?” He asks as holds up a single rose pedal.
“Ha! Well, that’s a rose pedal honey!” I say darting my eyes at Theo grasping for what to say next.
“Oh, you must’ve found our incredible rose garden out back. It really is stunning this time of year.” He says with coy confidence.
“Yup! That’s where it came from alright. Those roses are so beautiful.” I’m holding back the internal laugh that’s bubbling up inside.
Chiming in with his 6 year old logic, “And so you put it there because you’re pretty as a rose?” my child concludes as if adding it all up. The blissful simplicity made my heart full. Then Theo cut in before I had the chance to respond.
“She sure is Buddy. Anyone worthy enough to get close to someone so beautiful, should feel like the luckiest man in the world.” He said while holding my gaze with his piercing emerald eyes.
“Then I must be the luckiest boy ever!” He said with the excitement of someone realizing their own good fortune.
I squeeze him tightly as the smile on my face expands beyond the joy I feel in my heart. “You sure are! And I’m even luckier because I get to be your Mom.” Theo returns the same smile and with a wink, walks away. Even though our first encounter was unforgettable, it certainly wouldn’t be our last.
My own voice echoes in my head from what feels like a lifetime ago: I can’t believe I’m here, newly divorced, single mom, at the wedding of my barely ex-husband’s best friend since college… feeling happier and more content with my life than I could ever have imagined possible.